Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
My underwear smells like fireworks.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
