youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just gift wrapped bread.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
