Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
