that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
