I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize