didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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