Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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