After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
