Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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