bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
