i just google imaged poop.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
