All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
