He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
