You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
me + whiskey = a bad person
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
