I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
