she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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