Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
