Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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