glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I checked into jail on foursquare
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize