But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
