Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
