just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
