you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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