great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
