oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
