i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
