did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
