I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Randomize
