I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
