I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
