I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
