I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
