Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
