how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.