Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
