yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Man, jail baloney is awful.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb