Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I touched a dick in church today
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
