New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1