Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll

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(773): View more from Illinois

before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(602): View more from Arizona

Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back

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(914): View more from New York

He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill

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(305): View more from Florida

He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?

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(786): View more from Florida

Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole

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