her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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