I could make wine with my vomit
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
