we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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