I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
