my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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