all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
