So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
