The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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