you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
