It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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