it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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