I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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