Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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