Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
she told me i tasted like america
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
