Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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