You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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