So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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