I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Edward fifth and chaser hands
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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