So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
