She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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