When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
