one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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