DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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