So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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