Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
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The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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