I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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