I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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