.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
