Whod you bang
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
why is half of my head shaved?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
