So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Randomize
