I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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