were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
