im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
